As we approach the deadline, I find myself scrambling to get things done because I put things off far too long. While it looks like I will get a nice outfit out of this experience, I am not enjoying this. As I sit in my sewing room fiddling details and making all my own decisions with my own successes and errors, while watching mindless DIY tv shows (not too distracting or I find I am merely sitting and watching tv), I cannot help but feel that this is not the intense experience that I wanted. I miss being part of a team, and the 6 am wrangling over the next step to take, and the giggles and/or tears, and the camaraderie and bonding that this contest has brought. As a long time contestant, judge, and autocrat of this kind of event, working mostly alone this way has *increased* my feelings of isolation rather than assuaged them.
Even the years I ran troll and worked on an outfit by myself, not for judging, I was surrounded by the energy and sheer fun and madness of a Golden Seamstress. This rivals the year I was on a truly crappy team and nearly swore off the event permanently. This has been … er… not the fun I had hoped for.
We also remodeled our laundry room this month. Sorting the cleaning supplies and putting them into the new cabinets seems like more fun right now – and I can’t do it because I’ve got the dress to finish.
Sigh. At least it is almost over.